By Adrian Zupp
To many people, the celebratory spirit of the holidays and the darkness of clinical depression might seem like strange bedfellows. Well, the only message to broadcast on that one is, “You’d be surprised.”
And when it comes to the military, the issue is very real indeed.
The first thing to remember is that feeling down during the holidays is much more common than people realize. Even folks who don’t suffer from depression can become despondent at this time of year. Remembering this will help you feel less “alone.”
Next, it’s important to take care with your expectations. If you expect the very worst, there’s a good chance you’ll drag yourself down in advance – a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. On the other hand, if you tell yourself that these holidays will be a watershed time for you and will lift you out of your despair, you’re likely setting yourself up for disappointment.
Support systems can help. Family, of course. Or men and women you’ve serve/d with. Even if you just catch up over the phone. Who is more likely to “get it” than them?
And anyway, who set the “Holiday Rules” that say you have to toe the line by going to certain get-togethers, celebrate the way others do, and pretend to be happy when you aren’t feeling the holiday spirit? Sure, certain things have become conventions, but that doesn’t make them laws. Your mental health should come first. If you need to go jogging, take in a movie, have a “mini party” with just immediate family or a close friend, or maybe volunteer (which can feel very rewarding). Who’s to say you can’t?
Perhaps the greatest challenge one could face at holiday time, is finding a way to get through it all if you’ve lost a loved one – something not at all rare for military families. There are things you can do to mitigate the poignant reminder of your loss that the holidays can bring. If they were a key part of a family holiday tradition, you could perhaps come up with a new tradition. You could serve their favorite meal or watch their favorite movie in their honor. Perhaps light a candle or share favorite memories of them. Some people choose to visit the grave and commune with their loved one while others “speak” to them through a journal.
The critical thing is to do what feels right for you – whether loss is involved or it’s simply a case of the holidays getting you down.
But remember: If you feel that you might have depression rather than the “holiday blues,” or if you’ve been diagnosed with depression and you are feeling worse, see a clinician as soon as possible.
The holidays are a difficult time for most folks. Make of them what you can and appreciate the small glimmers of light. The more you can collect, the better you will feel.
Adrian Zupp is the marketing writer at Screening for Mental Health.
