By Christine Leccese
One person’s alcohol problem usally extends out to impact his family, friends, or colleagues. But, how does it impact that person’s friends and family when he has decided to stop drinking and go into recovery? I know that when my best friend announced she was an alcoholic, I was dumbfounded. I hadn’t seen her drunk before and she seemed to show up on time for work every day and lead a productive life. Looking back, there were some telltale signs that I didn’t recognize.
Regardless, I wondered what I should do to help her in her recovery. Should I avoid the subject of her recovery or bring it up? Should I be careful not to drink in front of her, or does she need to get used to that? I spoke with her recently about her recovery and also did some research. Below are some steps you can take to support someone in your life recovering from an alcohol problem.
- Be patient while they work the steps. When my friend stopped drinking, I truthfully got tired of hearing about all the steps she was working. I was careful not to let it show, however. And, when she worked the step that called for making amends, I was touched to get a letter from her telling me how bad she felt that she wasn’t there for me when my father died.
- Avoid bars and restaurants with bars. It may not be forever, but at least while your friend or family member is new to recovery, avoid places that will be difficult for him or her. Bars and restaurants with bars are full of people enjoying alcohol. He or she may not be at a point where that site is easy for them.
- Don’t drink alcohol in front of them. Show your friend or family member you will stand with them by avoiding alcohol in front of them. It may not be forever, but at least while the person is trying hard not to drink, your solidarity sends a message of support.
- Let them know you have your back. Let your friend know that you support his or her choice to stop drinking and are there for them if they need help. You may feel self-conscious bringing up the topic, but simply acknowledging you care will go further than you think.
- Get help for yourself if you need it. If the person you are trying to help is someone close to you in your life, you may benefit from reaching out to get help for yourself. You can start by attending an Al-Anon meeting in your area. They are free and anonymous. To find a meeting near you, click here.
Christine Leccese is the marketing and communications manager at Military Pathways.
