Military Families Can Help Each Other On Interactive Website — Military Kids Connect

by admin | May 23, 2013 | posted in: Family Resiliency, Military Mental Health

By Kelly Blasko

MKC Main PageOne of the biggest resources for military families is other military families. For kids, this is especially true. Who knows about moving a lot, making new friends, or dealing with a deployed parent than another military kid?

The message boards on Military Kids Connect give tweens (ages 9-12) and teens (ages 13-17) the opportunity to talk to other military kids in a safe, anonymous environment. When they’re not talking about favorite cartoons, hobbies, and which Pokemon is best, kids on the message boards like to seek and offer advice. A common topic is moving – anxiety about moving overseas, how to make new friends, what will happen to pets, etc.

Kids also talk about missing deployed parents and changes in a returned parent’s behavior – issues specific to the military kid population. Of course, like all kids (and adults), they ask for advice on how to tell if someone likes you. Parents can suggest their kids go to the message board when they have a question. “Go ask on MKC. Maybe another military kid had the same experience.”

By using the message boards, kids can make friends that they’ll still have, even when they move. Peer groups are important in any child’s development. MKC encourages peer-to-peer support in that unique and important population – military kids. Parents can also learn more about what their child is experiencing related to a parent returning with post-traumatic stress, a physical injury or in the cases of a death.  The “Tough Topics” modules provide first hand personal stories by military kids on how they coped with this situation and more about family adjustment.

Parents can learn about helpful ways to talk their kids about any of these circumstances. Overall these modules facilitate opportunities to talk with their kids about the challenges they may be facing. MilitaryKidsConnect.org is an engaging way to help military youth with the day-to-day challenges of deployment and may even help enhance family resilience and support for the deployed service member.

Dr. Kelly Blasko is a Research Psychologist and Subject Matter Expert for the National Center for Telehealth & Technology (T2), and the project lead for MilitaryKidsConnect.org.

Leave a comment

New Mobile App for Military Families Promotes Resilience

by admin | May 21, 2013 | posted in: Family Resiliency, Military Mental Health

In conjunction with Families OverComing Under Stress (FOCUS), the UCLA Nathanson Family Resilience Center is pleased to announce the release of an all new mobile app for Military and Veteran families. FOCUS On the Go! is a family gaming and resource app for iPhone and iPad designed to engage children and families in learning and practicing key resilience skills.

FOCUS On the Go! is a first-of-its-kind, family-centered mobile application for enhancing family resilience.

The mobile app is a fun and engaging tool for busy Military and Veteran families and their children.  Children, adolescents and parents can play four games alongside the app’s cartoon character, Buddy Bear, to practice identifying and talking about feelings and to collect tools for calming down in challenging situations.

FOCUS On the Go! also includes a parents page with a video library and downloadable activities to further practice family resilience skills. Parents can also complete family resilience check-ins for personalized summaries of their family’s strengths.

You can download the free app for iPhone and iPad today:  https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/focus-on-the-go!/id624713445?ls=1&mt=8

To learn more about FOCUS On the Go!, visit http://nfrc.ucla.edu/focus-on-the-go.

You can watch a demo video of the app’s key features here:  http://vimeo.com/65652789

 

 

Leave a comment

Families Can Overcome PTSD; No One is Alone: One Spouse’s Story

by admin | May 16, 2013 | posted in: Family Resiliency, Military Mental Health, PTSD

By Andrea Carlile

As I watched Tony Stark be overcome with anxiety and nightmares in Ironman 3, it reminded me of watching my husband experience similar symptoms after a second deployment. My thoughts drifted to how our heroes can crumble after witnessing atrocities that their mind cannot simply reconcile and memory will not let them forget, no matter how brave or strong they are. Heroes like The Ironman are ficticious but the real heroes, those men and women who serve in our military, can experience these debilitating symptoms in reality. Nightmares, flashbacks, depression,  violence, substance abuse, and other symptoms of PTSD can leave a veteran and his or her family feeling in despair.

I am alone. No one understands. There is no hope. What is happening to my husband? Who is he? Who can help? Who can save us? As I witnessed my spouse heading down a path of destruction, these thoughts and emotions led me into my own depression. Five years ago, the disorder was only beginning to be talked of and I didn’t understand it. As I faced each day and walked a path of darkness that almost destroyed our marriage and family, I had no military contacts to share my pain or confusion. I leaned on God, friends, family, and civilian services for support. While I benefitted from their help tremendously, they still could not truly understand the path we were walking. The complexity of the disorder combined with watching our life tattering before my eyes led us to the VA. My husband began intensive counseling that would continue for three years. I learned of PTSD.

Living with a spouse with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is challenging. There is required strength, perserverance, and patience. The service member suffers, as does the family. When my husband started treatment, I had no hope. There were layers of his pain and memories that needed to be opened to allow for healing. I learned of his triggers, those things that would cause an anxiety attack, rage or flashbacks. He continued to seek help and we developed better communication skills and coping methods that prevented heated arguments and rage.

While we benefited by some counseling and a retreat offered by the VA, I wish that I had known of services offered for the families of wounded warriors with PTSD and other mental issues. There are so many today, services of support, being able to connect to other spouses feeling the same way. There is professional counseling for spouses and children. There are online groups, education, and resources for every challenge facing the families of PTSD. Most recently, there is education surfacing about secondary stress ,which are symptoms a spouse can exhibit when living with a service member with PTSD.

Though it is challenging, PTSD can be handled and families can heal. With support, no one is alone to deal with this by themselves. The disorder is a daily battle that has to be continually addressed and monitored. Our real life heroes and their families may crumble but can be healed and able to move forward stronger than ever. That is my story of PTSD, and my husband is not even The Ironman, though he is a hero all the same.

Below are just a few websites for support:

Military Pathways

VA Peer Support

Military Ministry

Help Guide

Andrea Carlile is the spouse of a 12-year military veteran, received her Master’s from Indiana Wesleyan University, and is pursuing a career in Family and Marital Therapy. Andrea has two daughters and currently works for at an optometry practice. She enjoys writing, reading, and scrapbooking. The War That Came Home is her first novel, and she hopes to publish more books in the near future.

Leave a comment

The Beauty, Yes Beauty, of Moving

by admin | May 13, 2013 | posted in: Family Resiliency

By Sharon Van Heest (This post also appeared on Military One Click.)

Shannon First YearThe signs are everywhere.  Signs that we’ve already lived here for a year.  The time change and light into 8:00 pm.  Humidity creeping into the endlessly bright forecast.  The waxing and waning of a spring break crowd.  Red tide washing up onto the shores of the Island.  School registration.  Alice Virginia’s mobile gallop and her tender voice speaking in staccato sentences.  Meggie’s spurt of growth, her lanky legs in 5T clothes.  My birthday even.  The moving van pulled up to our little beach bungalow last year on my 28th birthday.  The signs are everywhere such that I cannot ignore them; the turning over of another year for us in this place.

These signs cause me to reflect on the last year.  What surprises me most about these turning over signs is the realization that I’m happy here.  I still miss our life in Oklahoma and in many ways still grieve the friendships we left behind, the support network of both Navy family and church friends who made up our village, but the ache is less.  Even when I doubted it a year ago (as I always want to do at the start of something new and even when I know better), we’re happy here.

I grew up moving.  Not as often as we move now, but enough to claim it as a lifestyle.  Honestly, my siblings and I were not kind to my parents through all of it.  We blamed them for the disruption of our friendships even while small parts of our psyche realized that the moves were for us and brought better opportunities for our family.  I wish I could go back to that stormy-eyed girl with a teenager’s attitude and give her some of the perspective I have now.  As a Navy wife.  As an adult.  As a parent.  What I’d whisper to her in those quiet moments, her guard down and really listening is that:

Moving is hard, but the hard gets easier with time.

Just keep doing the next best thing.  Don’t think too far ahead, but focus on what is immediately in front of you.  When you next look up, a whole year might have gone by.

Keep yourself open to new friends.  Initiate conversations and seek out soul mates.  Kindred spirits are everywhere, even when it doesn’t seem like it.

Don’t give up until the unfamiliar becomes the familiar.  This process happens gradually and will often take you by surprise.  And, oh, the comfort that surprise brings!

We are a family, a team, and we stick together.  We’re our own traveling band and no one else on the earth will ever know exactly what we’ve experienced except for us.  So we share together, the losses, the heartache, and the hills of triumph, and that makes us special.  Our love will be there through the hard, to see you to the other side of it.

It’s okay to be homesick, but know that beauty is everywhere.  Yearn for it and search it out.  Explore the hidden delights of every new place.  They are there, even when it doesn’t feel like it.  Appreciate the differences in each home and culture, knowing all the while that the very newness is shaping you for something in the future.  Change is scary, but it’s okay, too.

Do not fear.  You will make it.  In fifteen years you’ll be able to see the reasons why you did.  Why moving was a part of your story.

And when those first year doubts creep in, when the urge to look back is ever present, when they can’t yet glimpse the first year, turning-over signs, it’s what I’ll tell my daughters, too.

Shannon is a Navy wife of six years, mama to two daughters three-and-under with a third baby girl on the way, blogger, and has her Master’s degree in Community Counseling. She’s a lover of simple things like farmer’s markets, barefeet, and bluegrass music. When she’s not tickling sweet toes or chasing toddlers, you can find her reading a good book and sipping sweet tea. For more, follow her at This Foxtail Lily.

http://www.thisfoxtaillily.com.

Leave a comment

New Video on Youth Depression and Suicide Prevention Launches on National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day

by admin | May 9, 2013 | posted in: Family Resiliency, Military Mental Health

“Time to ACT” teaches young people about depression
and offers vital intervention tools


Childhood can be challenging enough, and the added stress of a mental health issue can make it even harder. Today, Thursday, May 9, is National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day. Organizations across the country are taking time to bring attention to the fact that recognizing and treating children’s mental health issues is vitally important.

The Awareness Day is a key strategy of the SAMHSA’s Caring for Every Child’s Mental Health Campaign. The Campaign seeks to raise awareness about the importance of children’s mental health so that children and youth get help for mental health disorders with the same urgency as any other health condition.

In observance of this day, Screening for Mental Health, Inc., the parent organization of Military Pathways, is launching “Time to ACT,” the newest video component of the SOS Signs of Suicide® Middle School Program.

For more than a decade, the SOS program has been teaching students that depression is a treatable illness. Through the use of “Time to Act” and its accompanying discussion guide, students learn that suicide is not a normal response to stress, but rather a preventable tragedy that can occur as a result of untreated depression. The video gives students specific action steps, encourages them to engage in a discussion about these issues with their parents, and utilizes the peer-to-peer help-seeking model known as ACT® (Acknowledge-Care-Tell). Acknowledge that there is a problem, tell the friend that you Care, and most importantly Tell a trusted adult.

“Suicide is the third-leading cause of death for youth in the U.S. However, the emotional crises that so often precede suicide are both recognizable and treatable, and good prevention programs can teach youth how to recognize the symptoms of depression, in themselves or a friend,” said Douglas G. Jacobs, M.D., associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and medical director of Screening for Mental Health, Inc.

“Time to Act” features various scenes, including students seated around a table discussing mental health topics, one-on-one conversations between a high school student and a trusted adult, and educational vignettes modeling how to respond to a friend who needs help using the ACT technique.

Other components of the SOS program include student and parent educational materials as well as gatekeeper training materials for faculty and staff.

The SOS program has been used at high schools and middle schools worldwide.  Through funding from the Department of Defense, over 300 DoDEA and military impacted schools have received the program since 2007.

Schools and organizations interested in hosting a mental health awareness event in the coming weeks or months can register online to receive free access to “Time to Act” and an event-specific facilitator guide.  To preview the trailer for “Time to Act” visit http://youtu.be/CRjAm3b-e_w.

Leave a comment

The ABCs of Accessing Mental Health Care for Military Families

by admin | May 6, 2013 | posted in: Anxiety, Depression, Family Resiliency, Military Mental Health, Stress

By Michelle Winning

Military family members come in many forms. You could be a parent, sibling, spouse, child, or friend. Supporting a service member means that you are facing unique challenges that can be difficult and stressful. While stress is inevitable in any family, the best thing that you can do is learn how to manage it so you can have better control over its effects on your physical and mental health. The Department of Defense (DoD) Military Health System, the Child Development Institute, and Mental Health America have tips on managing stress.

Stop stress before it starts. A huge part of mental health care is preventing stress before it starts! Here are some ways to make sure that your family stays healthy and happy amidst some of the challenges of military life.

Care for Yourself: Everyday stress can place a tremendous strain on you. You are important! Many Military Treatment Facilities (MTF) and base gyms have alternative therapies like yoga, meditation, acupuncture, and massage therapy. Check your local installation and sign up. Don’t hesitate. If you give yourself too much time to think about it, you’ll find a reason not to do it.

Care for Kids: Frequent deployments and moves can be stressful for military children— sometimes they just need a break! Your local Family Service Center has a list of programs for military kids in your area. To make sure the adults understand what military kids are going through, the National Military Family Association created informational toolkits for those who work with military kids and teens.
Additional resources: Sesame Workshop, Zero to Three, the Military Child Education Coalition, Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors

Support for Parents: Stay connected with your service member child’s command by making sure you have his or her contact information during a deployment. Some military installations offer Welcome Home classes for parents about what to expect when their son or daughter returns home from deployment. Communities may also offer support through social service agencies, churches, and veteran’s organizations.
Additional resources: Deployment Health and Family Readiness Library, Military Homefront , USA4militaryfamilies

Care for Caregivers: It is extremely important that caregivers take time for themselves to unwind and recharge when caring for a wounded service member gets overwhelming. The Department of Defense has a great website on post-deployment and military family programs. Military OneSource also has counselors available 24/7.

Where to get help. Sometimes it can take additional help to relieve stress symptoms. If you see that your stress is beginning to overwhelm you, there are many ways you can access preventive care and support:

  • On a military installation: in a Military Treatment Facility, and at military installation Family Service Centers
  • With Chaplains and spiritual advisers
  • With DoD TRICARE Mental Health Providers: Family members, non-active duty members, and Reserve component members who have TRICARE can go directly to a mental health provider in the TRICARE network without a referral or prior authorization for the first eight sessions. Active duty service members must have a referral before receiving services. TRICARE Active Duty Programs: 888.363.2273; TRICARE for Life: 888.363.5433
  • Military OneSource: Counselors are available on the telephone 24/7; find information on getting up to 12 free counseling sessions; or find many articles on combat and operational stress.
  • At Veteran Affairs “Vet Centers”: Vet Centers provide readjustment counseling and outreach services to all veterans who served in any combat zone, and their families. Visit www.va.gov/rcs for a directory, or call toll free: 800.905.4675 (Eastern) and 866.496.8838 (Pacific).
  • At community mental health centers: To find local state resources, visit http://store.samhsa.gov/mhlocator.

Learn more

For more resources and information on mental and behavioral health care, check out the National Military Family Association’s Mental Health Care section on our website. Have questions? Connect with us on our website at www.militaryfamily.org, our Facebook page, or on Twitter @military family, where we post the most up-to-date information on all military family issues.

Michelle Winning is an AmeriCorps member in the Government Relations department at the National Military Family Association.

1 Comment

Dropped Out, Laid Off, and Split Up… Why Won’t We Mention the Drinking?

by admin | April 25, 2013 | posted in: Alcohol Awareness, Military Mental Health

By The Discovering Alcoholic

divorceHigh school dropouts are twice as likely to use alcohol and marijuana compared to those who remain in school according to SAMHSA.  What we usually hear from people who dropout, however, is “I never went to class, so I dropped out.”  You don’t usually hear alcohol mentioned as a factor – even if it is.

The CDC estimates that of the hundreds of billions of dollars wasted through misuse of alcohol that 70% of it can be contributed to workplace absenteeism and loss of productivity. However, what you hear in the break room is often: “She couldn’t show up on time even when she made it to work, so she was the first to be laid off.”  The Office of National Drug Control Policy reports that there is a very strong link between increased alcohol consumption and divorce. You’ll hear someone discussing a neighbor:  “They just couldn’t make their marriage work, so they split up.”

Why does the mention of alcohol almost always get left out of these issues?  Why do we make excuses for alcohol? I know a few of the reasons why.

  • The alcoholic fears the loss of drinking more than being labeled lazy or stupid and will fall on his own sword to avoid letting people know the real issue.
  • In the workplace, firing someone over absenteeism is much easier than facing an employee’s substance abuse issue.
  • The family protects their own out of guilt, embarrassment, or hope of eventual reformation… regardless of past precedent.

What I don’t get though, is how in this gilded age of causes and social action, that among all the Livestrong-type bracelets and themed Facebook icons, alcohol gets a free pass from the general public.  For almost half a year, the entire US Congress and President have engaged in daily debate over a weapon style that is responsible for less than 300 deaths per year. Meanwhile the substance responsible for 80,000 deaths annually doesn’t even rate a hashtag? Supermodels and movie stars rage against fur and fracking, but the fact that 36% of the nearly 6 million people in US correctional facilities were drinking at the time of their crime will not stop them tonight from toasting each other and their causes.

Alcohol is by far the most common denominator of preventable grief in our society, yet for some reason we just don’t want to mention the drinking.  I’m a recovering alcoholic so I understand denial, but our ability as a nation to overlook the harm caused by a substance we glorify and that is promoted and profited is incomprehensible.

The Discovering Alcoholic is a veteran and someone who has been sober since 1994. He continues to discover life and keeps a blog at www.discoveringalcoholic.com.

 

Leave a comment

Five Steps You Can Take to Help an Alcoholic in Recovery

by admin | April 24, 2013 | posted in: Alcohol Awareness

By Christine Leccese

two friends talkingOne person’s alcohol problem usally extends out to impact his family, friends, or colleagues. But, how does it impact that person’s friends and family when he has decided to stop drinking and go into recovery? I know that when my best friend announced she was an alcoholic, I was dumbfounded. I hadn’t seen her drunk before and she seemed to show up on time for work every day and lead a productive life. Looking back, there were some telltale signs that I didn’t recognize.

Regardless, I wondered what I should do to help her in her recovery. Should I avoid the subject of her recovery or bring it up? Should I be careful not to drink in front of her, or does she need to get used to that? I spoke with her recently about her recovery and also did some research. Below are some steps you can take to support someone in your life recovering from an alcohol problem.

  1. Be patient while they work the steps. When my friend stopped drinking, I truthfully got tired of hearing about all the steps she was working. I was careful not to let it show, however. And, when she worked the step that called for making amends, I was touched to get a letter from her telling me how bad she felt that she wasn’t there for me when my father died.
  2. Avoid bars and restaurants with bars. It may not be forever, but at least while your friend or family member is new to recovery, avoid places that will be difficult for him or her. Bars and restaurants with bars are full of people enjoying alcohol. He or she may not be at a point where that site is easy for them.
  3. Don’t drink alcohol in front of them. Show your friend or family member you will stand with them by avoiding alcohol in front of them. It may not be forever, but at least while the person is trying hard not to drink, your solidarity sends a message of support.
  4. Let them know you have your back. Let your friend know that you support his or her choice to stop drinking and are there for them if they need help. You may feel self-conscious bringing up the topic, but simply acknowledging you care will go further than you think.
  5. Get help for yourself if you need it. If the person you are trying to help is someone close to you in your life, you may benefit from reaching out to get help for yourself.  You can start by attending an Al-Anon meeting in your area. They are free and anonymous. To find a meeting near you, click here.

Christine Leccese is the marketing and communications manager at Military Pathways.

Leave a comment

Qutting Alcohol: What’s in it for you?

by admin | April 18, 2013 | posted in: Alcohol Awareness, Military Mental Health

by Adrian Zupp

Quitting alcoholThroughout alcohol awareness month, you’ve likely heard a lot about how to determine if you have a problem with alcohol. For some people with serious alcohol issues, total abstinence is the best solution. For others, simply cutting down on alcohol consumption is enough to greatly improve their quality of life.

What are the clear-cut advantages – the incentives – of quitting drinking?

The return of the “real” you. Quitting drinking can bring back the real you – with “real” being the operative word. As you reach sobriety, you will rediscover an appreciation for genuine fun – and the fact that you will be able to remember it the next day. Also, you will be able to experience real emotions again, which is virtually the definition of feeling alive. This, in turn, will lead to you being able to once again relate to others in a meaningful way. Alcohol is the enemy of these things because it takes one away from reality.

Better health. More obvious, still, are the health benefits that accrue from ceasing drinking. For example, heavy drinkers who quit have been shown to add years to their life. If this is combined with good diet, regular exercise, and, if relevant, smoking cessation, then it’s possible to extend one’s life significantly.

Reverse the physical damage. Furthermore, once you stop putting alcohol into your system, it is possible for the damage that has been caused by excessive use to begin to repair. Research has shown that some damage to the liver, brain, and cardiovascular system by alcohol abuse will slowly begin to heal after beginning sobriety.

Have more money. (Who doesn’t want that?) Have you ever thought about the money you could save if you weren’t spending it on alcohol? You might be surprised. In fact, do a little math: write down what you think you spend on alcohol in a week – then multiply it by 52. If you really want to get a shock, multiply that number by the number of years you’ve been drinking, and consider what you could buy with that. Food for thought!

Elevated mood. Since alcohol is a depressant, moving to sobriety can also result in a positive mood shift and greater mental clarity.

Grab more Zzzzzzzz. Your sleep can improve, too.  Although alcohol can temporarily make you feel sleepy, it disrupts normal sleep patterns. Who doesn’t want more sleep?

And never fear: If you feel any withdrawal symptoms after quitting, there are medical treatments available. So it’s a good idea to check in with your physician.

But first, it’s a good idea to take a free, anonymous online screening for alcohol to get a better idea of your drinking habits and if you might be exhibiting any indicators for risky drinking. (The screenings are not diagnostic but are an excellent first step.)

Good health, clear thinking, longer life, better quality of life, improved social skills, a fatter wallet, better sleep… the benefits of sobriety are numerous and significant. So why not give it a try?

Adrian Zupp is the marketing and communications writer for Screening for Mental Health, Inc.

Leave a comment

You’ve Learned You Have an Alcohol Problem, so What Now?

by admin | April 16, 2013 | posted in: Military Mental Health

By Adrian Zupp

NASD pictureThousands of service members, veterans and their families have taken the Military Pathways alcohol use screenings. And many of those people have tested positive for symptoms that may indicate an alcohol problem. The question is: What now?

First, you should get a clinical diagnosis. Remember that Military Pathways’ screening is not diagnostic, although it is very good at uncovering symptoms typical of a drinking problem. (You can take a completely anonymous screening online any time, right HERE.) A medical or substance abuse professional can give you that diagnosis. All branches of the service have offices that specifically work with people who have substance abuse issues.

After that, you have options that, again, should be guided by a clinician. There are a range of things a clinician might suggest – some of which are included here – depending on the degree and nature of your drinking problem. This may include medications. Bear in mind, that cutting down or quitting drinking are excellent immediate steps if you are able to take them, but they don’t preclude other actions, such as:

  • Finding an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) group near you. AA has been around a long time (founded in 1935) and helped countless people to leave drinking behind, feel stronger, and lead more productive lives. AA meetings are also places of great honesty, peace, camaraderie, and refuge. Go to the AA website and click on the link “How to find AA meetings.” There is also plenty of useful information on the site.
  • Contacting TRICARE, the Department of Defense health care program that provides health care coverage for military familie, retirees and their survivors.  Keep an eye out for a blog post here about alcohol treatment by a TRICARE representative in the near future.

The critical thing is to make up your mind that you are going to do something to get your drinking under control. Very often, steps that seem quite difficult turn out to be the ones that make you feel the best about yourself.

Be sure to take a look at these other blog posts on alcohol:

Above all else, remember: there is help out there; there are people who care; and you are not alone in your fight against alcohol.

Adrian Zupp is the marketing and communications writer for Screening for Mental Health, Inc.

Leave a comment