How to Help Children Who Feel Their Parents’ PTSD

by admin | May 16, 2012 | posted in: Family Resiliency, Military Mental Health, PTSD

By Adrian Zupp

When a parent is battling posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), there is a good chance it will have an effect on his or her children. There’s even a name for this: secondary trauma.

Just a cursory look at the range of symptoms that someone suffering with PTSD may exhibit makes it easy to understand how they can have an impact on those around them. Grouchiness, anger, failing to pay attention, lacking interest in activities that used to be fun…young minds can interpret these things as being about them.

Naturally, this is likely to cause a response in the children. For example, a child might begin to mirror his or her parent’s behavior in a bid to reconnect with them. He or she may attempt to take on the adult’s role to some extent, acting too grown-up for his or her age. And there can be emotional issues, problems at school, relationship troubles later in life, and other interpersonal issues.

Without a doubt, the most important thing a parent can do is talk to the children. Explain to them what’s going on, without going into detail about specific, traumatic events that led to the PTSD. Give them information appropriate for their age, and offer love and encouragement. If this is too difficult for the person with PTSD to do, then the other parent, or even an aunt or uncle or close friend, can step in and help.

You might like to take a look at this article: “War-Zone-Related Stress Reactions: What Families Need to Know.” Also, consider taking a screening for PTSD, available online – free and anonymous – 24/7.

Just remember that help is available and the challenges of PTSD, for both parents and children, can be treated with great success.

Adrian Zupp is the marketing and communications writer for Screening for Mental Health.

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The Three Most Common Reasons Military Families Seek Couple’s and Family Therapy

by admin | May 15, 2012 | posted in: Family Resiliency

By Liz Grow, MP, LPC

Military families experience many of the same ups and downs as civilian families, but they have some extra challenges. As a therapist who has treated military families for years, I have seen how these challenges can transform themselves into serious problems, and want to share with you the three main reasons military families seek therapy. They include:

1.Financial woes
It can be tough to stretch the monthly military paycheck, and military spouses can face difficulty finding jobs since they often relocate. This leaves the family with one paycheck. And military families can also fall victim to financial scams aimed directly at them. A recent study conducted by the Investor Education Foundation of the Financial Industry Regulatory Authority (FINRA) found that military families are far more likely to be in debt than their civilian counterparts.  

When enough financial pressure is put on a family patience can run thin, and instead of supporting each other, families can begin to turn on each other. The family leader tends to hold him or herself responsible for the struggles that the family is experiencing, and can begin to withdraw from the family. The non-breadwinning partner will likely feel helpless and unable to face the situation head-on. Avoidance leads to distance, which can be the catalyst for a myriad of issues such as depression, substance abuse, children acting out, and infidelity.  

Family therapy will help shine a light on the real source of the stress, and force the family to work together to find solutions. Good therapy will also give each family member tools to use when tensions run high, and help the family create a system of healthy communication. Most importantly, a therapist can help the family set a realistic budget so that each member plays an important role in getting through the difficult situation.     

2. Teens acting out
The nomadic nature of the military culture can be tough on the whole family, but often most acutely affects adolescents. It’s challenging enough to be a teen, but when you tack on frequent moves, switching schools, and having to learn to fit in again, some teens will act out in destructive ways. Failing grades at school, truancy, engaging in dangerous sexual behavior, substance use, and impulsive risk-taking behaviors are all common among teenagers who are acting out. These behaviors and the attitudes that accompany them can make the whole family miserable, and feeling a loss of control.

A good family therapist will feel comfortable working with the adolescent first, and will make them feel safe to open up about their feelings of anger and frustration that may be motivating their behavior. Once the teen is comfortable, the family will be brought into the mix to work toward understanding the teen’s behaviors and attitudes.  In therapy, the family will set clear boundaries for the teen, learn how to communicate more effectively, and discover techniques to encourage bonding.

3. Infidelity
The most common reason that military families seek therapy, sadly, is infidelity.
A recent study focused on infidelity in the military found that the rate is more than double that of the general population.  The reasons for this shocking statistic are unclear, but it’s fair to assume that the length and frequency of deployments may motivate spouses to seek out the comfort of another.

Extramarital affairs affect the entire family, not just the couple. A knowledgeable family therapist will first work with the couple to help uncover the impetus for the infidelity and work with them to determine next steps. Eventually, the entire family will take part in therapy to work toward healing and begin to put the pieces back together.       

If your family is experiencing its challenges and you think you may have some mental health issues as a result, it’s important to seek help sooner, to keep the issue from becoming a crisis. You can take a free, anonymous, online mental health assessment to see if you need to take further action.

Liz Grow, MA, LPC is the Director of Counseling Partnerships for Fidelis, a technology company committed to solving the military to civilian career transition challenge. As a former psychotherapist and Army brat, Liz is committed to serving those men and women of the military who want to find as much success in the civilian workplace as they have in the military.

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Military Moms and Mental Health: I Had to Laugh!

by admin | May 11, 2012 | posted in: Military Mental Health

By Jen Pilcher, MA CCC-SLP

As a military spouse, mom and founder of Military1Click.com, I spend a lot of time thinking about resources that will make life easier, healthier, and more fun for military families. Easier lives, healthier minds and bodies, and more fun make for better mental health.

When Military Pathways asked me to contribute to the blog for its May theme of Mental Health, I had to laugh. May is Mental Health Month and Mother’s Day?  Coincidence?  I don’t think so!  Moms need good mental health, however I think military moms need even better mental health! Of course I firmly regard mental health issues as serious, but I also truly believe that laughter is the best medicine. This is one of the main reasons I started my blog, M.O.M. – Please!

I was recently reading about and took the Life Events Stress Test developed by Holmes and Rahe Social Readjustment Rating Scale on www.stresstips.com.  The scale lists the top 25 most stressful life events — in order of most stressful to least stressful. I thought this past year had been relatively calm compared to some in the past.  We did not move or have another child. There was no major change in my husband’s career. Life to me seems as normal as normal could be in the Pilcher household.  That thought lasted about 5 seconds until my score came back and indicated that I had a significant amount of life change in the past year, and about an 80% of probability of stress-related illness.  What? I thought this was a “light” year?

This proves the point that as military moms we juggle major life events all the time.  What seems normal to us – is not normal to the rest of the world.  Our version of normal is skewed due to the abnormal amount of stress and sacrifice that consumes us living among the military community.  Therefore military moms believe we do not have “abnormal amounts of stress” – when in fact, we do. I think this makes us great candidates for seeking out mental health care.

Why seek out care for yourself?

  •  It’s FREE.  Yes, completely free – TRICARE Prime covers your doctor’s appointments, mental health screenings, therapy, and medication, if needed. 
  • You are more stressed out than you actually think.  I didn’t even know how bad my mental health was during our last PCS (civilian translation = moving) (Military translation – Pretty Crappy Situation).  Everything that could go wrong did, and it wasn’t until after we arrived at our new duty station I realized how much help I needed.  Three days after we arrived in Maryland from Texas, I met my new doctor at my new MTF (Military Treatment Facility) for a routine appointment for a sinus infection.  She kindly put her hand on my knee and asked with concern, “Mrs. Pilcher, besides the sinus infection – are you ok?”  All I could do not to cry was shake my head no. 

You may wonder where to start. It’s easier than you think.

  • Talk with your Doctor. I know you hear this all the time, but he or she truly can’t get help unless you ask. I made a follow-up appointment with my new doctor and we came up with a plan that worked for me. For some people it’s therapy, for some it’s medication and for some it’s both.  If your vision was blurry, you would get glasses, right?  Same thing!
  •  Be social.  Join your family readiness group (or your service equivalent), MOPS group, church group, local moms’ club. Find a group that you enjoy and make yourself go.  It is so hard moving to new places and enduring endless deployments, but I made myself get up and get out. You can too. My girlfriends are some of the best mental health treatment I need. 
  • Access great free resources. Military Pathways, Military1Click and other organizations are ready to connect you with the help you not only need, but deserve. At Military1Click.com we have recently launched a new area called Health and Wellness with many resources to help you or someone you know with mental health questions and concerns.   

Thank you for sharing your time with me.  As a mom, I know a few minutes is all you have!  As a mom to two children, ages 9 and 6, I can honestly tell you that parenting becomes more enjoyable each year.

I truly believe I am a better mom, wife and woman now because I took control of my own mental health when I made that move to Maryland.  If you think you might benefit from help, you can take a free, anonymous online mental health self assessment. Please feel free to reach out.  I would love to hear from you.

Jennifer G Pilcher is a military wife, spouse, and founder of Military1Click, a website (no login, no password!) that provides quick and easy access to the newest resource available for the military, their families, and those who support the military. You can reach her at Jennifer@military1click.com.

 

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The ABCs of Accessing Mental Health Care for Military Families

by admin | May 10, 2012 | posted in: Anxiety, Depression, Family Resiliency, Military Mental Health, Stress

By Michelle Winning

Military family members come in many forms. You could be a parent, sibling, spouse, child, or friend. Supporting a service member means that you are facing unique challenges that can be difficult and stressful. While stress is inevitable in any family, the best thing that you can do is learn how to manage it so you can have better control over its effects on your physical and mental health. The Department of Defense (DoD) Military Health System, the Child Development Institute, and Mental Health America have tips on managing stress.

Stop stress before it starts. A huge part of mental health care is preventing stress before it starts! Here are some ways to make sure that your family stays healthy and happy amidst some of the challenges of military life.

Care for Yourself: Everyday stress can place a tremendous strain on you. You are important! Many Military Treatment Facilities (MTF) and base gyms have alternative therapies like yoga, meditation, acupuncture, and massage therapy. Check your local installation and sign up. Don’t hesitate. If you give yourself too much time to think about it, you’ll find a reason not to do it.

Care for Kids: Frequent deployments and moves can be stressful for military children— sometimes they just need a break! Your local Family Service Center has a list of programs for military kids in your area. To make sure the adults understand what military kids are going through, the National Military Family Association created informational toolkits for those who work with military kids and teens.
Additional resources: Sesame Workshop, Zero to Three, the Military Child Education Coalition, Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors

Support for Parents: Stay connected with your service member child’s command by making sure you have his or her contact information during a deployment. Some military installations offer Welcome Home classes for parents about what to expect when their son or daughter returns home from deployment. Communities may also offer support through social service agencies, churches, and veteran’s organizations.
Additional resources: Deployment Health and Family Readiness Library, Military Homefront , USA4militaryfamilies

Care for Caregivers: It is extremely important that caregivers take time for themselves to unwind and recharge when caring for a wounded service member gets overwhelming. The Department of Defense has a great website on post-deployment and military family programs. Military OneSource also has counselors available 24/7.

Where to get help. Sometimes it can take additional help to relieve stress symptoms. If you see that your stress is beginning to overwhelm you, there are many ways you can access preventive care and support:

  • On a military installation: in a Military Treatment Facility, and at military installation Family Service Centers
  • With Chaplains and spiritual advisers
  • With DoD TRICARE Mental Health Providers: Family members, non-active duty members, and Reserve component members who have TRICARE can go directly to a mental health provider in the TRICARE network without a referral or prior authorization for the first eight sessions. Active duty service members must have a referral before receiving services. TRICARE Active Duty Programs: 888.363.2273; TRICARE for Life: 888.363.5433
  • Military OneSource: Counselors are available on the telephone 24/7; find information on getting up to 12 free counseling sessions; or find many articles on combat and operational stress.
  • At Veteran Affairs “Vet Centers”: Vet Centers provide readjustment counseling and outreach services to all veterans who served in any combat zone, and their families. Visit www.va.gov/rcs for a directory, or call toll free: 800.905.4675 (Eastern) and 866.496.8838 (Pacific).
  • At community mental health centers: To find local state resources, visit http://store.samhsa.gov/mhlocator.

Learn more

For more resources and information on mental and behavioral health care, check out the National Military Family Association’s Mental Health Care section on our website. Have questions? Connect with us on our website at www.militaryfamily.org, our Facebook page, or on Twitter @military family, where we post the most up-to-date information on all military family issues.

Michelle Winning is an AmeriCorps member in the Government Relations department at the National Military Family Association.

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Six Guiding Principles for Families Coping With Post-Deployment Stress

by admin | May 9, 2012 | posted in: Family Resiliency, Military Mental Health, PTSD, Stress

By Christine Leccese

Military Pathways recently caught up with Rebecca Townsend, LPC, SrLPE, a military family therapist in Clarksville, Tenn., and asked her about what military families can do to cope with post-deployment stress or a family member with PTSD. Some of the things she shared with us include:

1. You can experience secondary trauma. While the service member with PTSD may be feeling hyper vigilant and edgy, his or her stress can rub off on the family members. Townsend points out that a spouse will often spend so much time walking on egg shells wondering what will set their spouse that he or she themselves become hyper vigilant. “They anticipate what might be a trigger and how they will react,” Townsend said. “How their spouse reacts one day may differ from how they act another day.”

2. Education is power. “We have to educate ourselves about what he or she (returning family member) has been through,” Townsend said. She tells the story of one woman who was upset that her husband had been driving so erratically after he got home from Iraq. Townsend showed the woman a video of what it was like to drive in Iraq, and the woman immediately had a better understanding of why her husband had been so aggressive behind the wheel.

Sometimes, you assume you know what your spouse is dealing with because you have heard stories about what happens in Iraq or Afghanistan, but what he or she experienced may be completely different. “I have seen a lot of spouses have a-ha moments when I explain something about the other spouse’s deployment experience.”

Townsend added that a lot of service members don’t want to share traumatic memories with their spouse, since they may return to the front lines.

3. Make time as a couple. Sure, therapists tell couples this all the time, but it’s especially important that any couple who has been through a trauma make a special effort to be together. Remember why you fell in love in the first place! “That means being with each other without any electronic devices,” Townsend said. “Remember the good things about your relationship. It’s a great time to focus on what is good in your lives.”

 4. Have your own support group. It’s important to have support outside of your family. “Support groups let you know that you are not alone in this and what you are seeing is normal adjustment,” Townsend said. If you are on a military base, reach out to whichever community feels most comfortable for you. Perhaps you’d prefer a group of other spouses over a military chaplain, or maybe the opposite is true. There are likely a lot of resources on your installation. If you are not in contact with other military families, look in your community for nonprofit organizations or some other source of support. Townsend recommends a website called www.notalone.org, which has online and face-to-face support groups.

5. Avoid one-upping each other. Townsend said that sometimes couples fall into the trap of “one upping” each other. Sure, the person deployed faced challenges, but so did the person at home who was taking care of things by him or herself.  “There were sacrifices made at both ends, and it’s important to remember not to compare.”

6. You can’t fight fire with fire. If your partner does have PTSD and he or she experiences a flashback, it’s important that you try not to fight it. “Just make sure you are in a safe surrounding. Some people will zone out. Other people may run. If it does become physical, we want to make sure that we are safe with them.”

Fortunately, PTSD is a treatable condition, and post-deployment stress gets better with time. Don’t lose hope if times are difficult, and always remember to reach out to family and friends. Chances are good that they stood by you during the deployment, so let them know your needs have not disappeared just because your family member has returned. You just need a little more time!

Christine Leccese is the communications and marketing manager at Military Pathways.

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Download Free Resources for Military Families

by admin | May 7, 2012 | posted in: Alcohol Awareness, Anxiety, Depression, Family Resiliency, Military Mental Health, PTSD, Stress

Behind every service member is a family who is watching, waiting, and keeping everything running smoothly while he or she is deployed or training. Family members get to share in the glory of knowing they are contributing to the safety of our country, but they can also suffer with them during the difficult times. Sometimes, just holding it together without your service member home can be extremely difficult.  If you are in a military family or work with military families, you know they face unique challenges.

Military Pathways offers comprehensive kits that military behavioral health clinicians, family readiness group leaders, military chaplains, and health centers can order to run events to engage and inform military families about common mental health issues. The kits are very popular and in limited supply, so Military Pathways makes some of the kit available for download – for free.

Whether you work with military families, or are in one yourself, you can visit our family downloads page for information on a wide variety of mental health topics for service members and their families from talking to helping teenagers struggling with having a deployed parent, to what happens to a relationship when one spouse is deployed, to a military child’s coloring book.

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Online Screenings: A Family-Friendly Mental Health Tool

by admin | May 3, 2012 | posted in: Military Mental Health

By Adrian Zupp

Have you ever seen those blood pressure machines by the pharmacy in supermarkets? A great idea, right? Free, quick, easy… and they give you a read on a crucial element of your overall health and wellbeing. Well, why not take that do-it-yourself concept into the area of mental health?

In the Information Age you can do just that – and have complete privacy as well. Just log onto the Internet and you’re in business! Click here for screenings for depression, alcohol, bipolar disorder, general anxiety disorder (GAD), posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and a brief screening for adolescent depression.

These screenings are quick and simple to take, they’re completely anonymous, and free of charge. Nobody ever has to know that you, or a member of your family, took one. In fact, you could call this a very family-friendly mental health check-up.

It should be noted, while screenings will definitely give you a sense or whether or not you have symptoms that are consistent with one of the above mentioned conditions, and whether seeking further evaluation or treatment might be a good idea, they are not a diagnosis.

In addition to the question-and-answer basic screenings, the depression, alcohol, PTSD, and GAD screenings are also followed by clips from the “Video Doctor” series. These short, interactive videos add another dimension to the online screenings and add a personal, friendly touch.

Taking an online mental health screening might be one of the most important things you can do for your family – or one of the most important things a family member can do for themselves. So give it a try. After all, you don’t even have to go to the supermarket.

 Adrian Zupp is the marketing and communications writer for Screening for Mental Health.

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May Blog Will Focus on Mental Health Programs and Resources for Military Families

by admin | May 1, 2012 | posted in: Military Mental Health

By Christine Leccese

In honor of May as Mental Health Month, the Military Pathways® team has a fantastic month planned for military families on our blog. This month, our blog will focus on mental health resources and programs for military families. We’ll cover a wide range of important topics and we also have a good selection of expert guest bloggers. In this month’s blog, you will hear from the National Military Family Association, Military 1Click, the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill, some military family therapists, and other experts.

Military families face unique issues and research shows they are extremely resilient. However, during times of deployment, children in military families experience higher rates of stress than their civilian counterparts. And, a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine found that the wives of army soldiers who had spouses deployed suffered more mental health diagnoses than those army wives whose husbands were not deployed.

Military Pathways has a vast array of materials available to military families in the learning and resources section of our website, as well as in the many family resiliency kits we provide to Family Readiness Group Leaders. We’ll be talking about our kits later in the month, too.

So, during the month of May, try to think about the mental health needs of your whole family, not just the one who is an active duty service member or veteran. Feel free to contact me at CLeccese@mentalhealthscreening.org with any ideas or thoughts on this topic or what you want to see on our blog.

Christine Leccese is the communications and marketing manager at Military Pathways.

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How to Talk to Your Children About Alcohol

by admin | April 30, 2012 | posted in: Alcohol Awareness, Family Resiliency, Military Mental Health

By Adrian Zupp

When it comes to alcohol, prevention is most certainly better than cure. It’s important to have very open communication with your child so they feel free to speak to you about anything. And, with something like alcohol, you will want to take the initiative.

While it is important to outline the dangers of alcohol, it is also very important that you listen to your child and give them plenty of opportunities to speak. And try not to get emotional. Instead, stay objective and keep in mind your child’s particular situation and any pressures he/she might be feeling.
Some children try alcohol at a very young age. Obviously, if you have an elementary or middle school child, you need to tailor the message to fit their age and comprehension level. But certainly, a discussion about alcohol is something you should have with your kids when they become teenagers.

Click here to go to an excellent article on child drinking that includes a special section on talking to teens about alcohol.
And remember, you or anyone you know can take a free, anonymous online screening.
Yes, prevention is better than cure. And there are plenty of resources available to help you take preventative measures.

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Cutting Back on Your Drinking is a Great First Step

by admin | April 27, 2012 | posted in: Military Mental Health

By Adrian Zupp

 

It can be difficult to cut back on your drinking, but it’s certainly doable. There is no shortage of specific steps you can take to do this. Some may work for you better than others. That’s fine. The important thing is to start, to get a toe hold, so to speak. Then you build on that.

With each thing you do to reduce your alcohol intake, with each little milestone you reach, you will get a psychological boost that will help you to the next stage. After all, there’s nothing like positive reinforcement for building success in any challenge.

And remember: You don’t have to do this alone. Friends, family, support groups…you’d be surprised just how many people care.

But back to those tips. Grab a pen and paper and watch this short video clip. It’s less than two minutes long and crammed with great ideas for cutting back on your drinking.

You can do it!

 Adrian Zupp is the marketing and communications writer for Screening for Mental Health.

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